My Life Without You, Could Not Continue
by Torchwood3
Summary: Jack can live forever so why can't he breath life into another? Set after Children of Earth. This is how little breaths from one person to another can affect life itself... Please excuse my crap summary!


**My life without you could not continue**

**Chapter 1- Memories**

**(Set after Ianto's death in Children of Earth)**

I sobbed into Gwen's hair as she did the same into my shirt. What could I say. I missed him already. I sobbed harder, wrapping my arms around Gwen. I remembered a month ago.

Ianto had stayed the night and he lay asleep in my arms.

"Jack?" He called out in his sleep. It wasn't out of pleasure nor did it seem like he was in pain.

"I'm here." I whispered feeling the need to answer despite his lack of consciousness.

"Jack, I need to tell you something. I need to tell you that..." He paused and I thought he had woken up. I looked down and saw that his eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly.

"Carry on..." I prompted as if he could hear me. And like he could, he responded.

"...That.. I... love you, Jack." He fell silent again and a grin spread across my face.

"I love you too." I whispered.

But now he was gone. The memory felt so real. I wanted him back. Gwen shifted in my arms and I thought she was going to say something. She settled back down and continued to cry. I started to dissolve into my memories of him.

"Ianto?" I called into the darkness. I shut his door behind me and fumbled for a light switch. "Ianto?" He had to be here. Suddenly someone's fingers laced with mine. "Ianto." I grinned into the darkness.

"Sshhh..." He whispered pressing his body against mine. He placed a finger on my lips. My hand his arm up to his shoulder. With my free hand I titled his chin up. I recognized his eyes in the darkness. They looked amazing and full of desire that burned through him. They stared into mine. A smile lit them as I leaned down into him.

I didn't want to forget that night. They way he was, the way he touched me, kissed me... A fresh load of sobs broke through me.

"I can't live without him." I croaked. Gwen met my eyes.

"Do you want me to leave you alone with him?" I nodded, but really I didn't know what I wanted. Except from; him. She reached down and brushed her hand over his cheek and whispered a tearful goodbye. She stood up and walked away slowly. I waited until she had disappeared through a set of big doors.

"Ianto, I knew this would happen, and I knew that I could never stop it. Before you It was like I was used to death. I had to watch the ones that I loved die, but it seemed almost common. I hated it. But you, I watched you fall in love with me, not realizing just how much I loved you. I never knew that I had been in love with you for long before you loved me, but know I do. I missed you every night that we were apart which, in truth, wasn't a lot." I leaned down so close that my nose almost brushed against his. I stroked the side of his face. "I don't know how I will live without you. I don't want to forget you or the time we spent together. You were taken from me but, Ianto, It was all my fault." I stopped and pressed my lips to his. I laced my fingers with his, like what happened in many of my memories.

I breathed almost into him. I didn't pull away my breath lingered on his lips his lips parted with mine and I left them there for several minutes just thinking.

"Jack, you were right." His voice startled me but not badly. I placed the file down on the desk. "The prime minister has had a previous..."

"Ianto." I breathed turning to him. I reached out for his hand. "Not now." I pulled him into me.

"Jack we're at work." He said glancing around torchwood being buisness like but not pulling away.

"I know, but its just you and me. Together." I whispered almost teasing him. My lips met his for a few seconds. He pulled away quickly.

"But what if Gwen comes back?" He said. It would have been more convincing, that he actually had doubts, if he had not been staring at my lips the whole time.

"I don't care." I whispered, kissing him again.

I pulled away from his lips slightly and let my words touch them.

"Do you remember that day?" I made myself wait as if he could reply. My own tears rolled down both his cheeks and mine. "You really wanted me to hear what you had to say. You had that 'Computer Geek' look in your eyes and I really loved it. Remember afterwards you desperately wanted to tell me but when you started I kissed you to stop you from speaking. Eventually you gave up. I can't and won't forget you, Ianto. I promise." A weird feeling took over me. It was almost like all my energy had been drained from me. I collapsed onto Ianto's lifeless body.

"Jack?!" A familiar voice croaked, sometime later.


End file.
